I came up with an eight step system for individuals looking for a long and lasting relationship. After much personal experience, observation and research, I have discovered these steps provide a greater chance for a lifelong partner versus just a one night stand. These steps are not ingrained in stone and there are certainly rare and wonderful cases where a one night stand can turn into a successful marriage. However to increase your chances, I have determined these steps provide the proper criteria and mind set for marriage.
Building Blocks for a Successful Relationship from Meeting to Marriage
First Three to Six Months
- Encounter at work, school, gym, grocery store, running/ walking club, art/ writing class, workshop, or any personal interest group.
2. Establish a Friendship
- Treat each other as buddies. No pressure for sex and truly get to know the person without expectations for the future or external demands. In this type of relationship, you are permitted to be yourself and learn each other’s character, values and beliefs.
3. Set Boundaries and Stand-up for your principles and viewpoint
- Be willing to end the relationship if they aren’t met. You may be surprised how the relationship turns for the better after someone takes a stance if there is something special brewing between the two of you.
Six to Nine Months
4. Continue to build boundaries; working on polite yet assertive communication.
- Respect naturally forms if there is admiration and deference toward each other. Appreciate signs of mutual respect such as thoughtfulness, consideration, politeness and respect of privacy. Small considerate actions mean the most.
Nine Months to a Year
6. Love is revealed
- Revel in your love, tender affection and romantic desires and longing for each other.
Year to Two Years
7. Persevere the relationship
- Steadily persist in consistent thoughtful actions toward each other despite problems or difficulties if they exist.
- Make a 100% Commitment. Be willing to work and give the relationship hundred percent; through thick and thin; the good and the bad times. During difficult times, look for the positives and enjoy your spouse more each day. You may be pleasantly surprised how your spouse responds; naturally reacting nicer. An amazing transformation will eventually occur, illuminating happier times together.
- There is a remarkable difference between a commitment of 99% and 100%. At 100%, you are seeing your problems all the way through to their solutions. At 99% we can still find a way to take the path of least resistance…and usually do.